Hey Baby, My Apartment’s Right Around The Corner. Wanna Come Check It Out?

MYM Credit Builder Program — Click Here

Hey Baby, My Apartment’s Right Around The Corner. Wanna Come Check It Out?

Posted by Rich Harshaw on March 11, 2014.

No Comments Yet.

Post Category: Don't Do This.

Topics: Websites.

Nobody Wants To Talk To The Cheesy, Chain-Wearing Poser At The Bar.

If You Use A Stupid Pickup Line In Real Life, You’ll Get Slapped.
If You Use A Stupid Pickup Line On Your Home Improvement Website, You’ll Go Broke.

Written by Rich Harshaw

Note: This article is part of Monopolize Your Marketplace’s ongoing “Don’t Do This” series. Sometimes it’s just as helpful to know what to avoid as it is to know what to do..

A few months ago I wrote about a contractor who paid $17,000 to create a new website and for remodeling-specific SEO services… only to find out that they actually received FEWER leads with their new site than they did with their old one. When I reviewed the new site, it was immediately evident what the problem was:

Cheesy pickup lines.

Yep—the online equivalent of walking up to an attractive woman at a bar and saying, “Hey baby, my apartment’s right around the corner. Wanna come check it out?”

Online, the cheesy pickup lines sound more like “Get A Price.” And “Easy Payments.” And “Visit Our Showroom.”

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t offer prices, low payments, and showroom visits. I’m suggesting that if these are the very FIRST things you offer, then you’ll be treated like a dude with a hairy chest, cheesy mustache, and gold chains at the bar. A pariah.

Take a look at the offending home improvement website and you’ll see for yourself:

The logic is simple: Give people a form to fill out for something… then when they do, pounce and sell. You’re going to have to trust me on this one: “bait and pounce” is not a good way to sell in 2014.

Think about it: why on earth would somebody want to give you their precious contact information before they even have any FREAKING CLUE who you are, what you’re all about, how you’re different and/or better, or what they can expect when doing business with you? Why would they do that? For the most part, they wouldn’t.

Here’s another example—a Renewal By Andersen dealer in Dallas brought this set of cheesy pickup lines to the bar:

They not only want us to “CALL TODAY!” and “Request An Appointment” and come to their showroom “Showroom Hours” before we know who they are… they also want us to bring a friend along (Refer a Friend)! That’s almost creepy.

Fortunately, this company overhauled their website. Oh, wait—it didn’t get any better. Here’s the result:

This one looks prettier—I think we’d all agree on that. But it is still riddled with a million “cheesy pickup” problems:

The 8 most visible things on the site are engagement tools: Get A Price, Call For A Free Quote, Easy Low Payments, Download Free Brochure, Easy Low Payments (Again), Contact Us, Have A Question, and a map.
None of these things give the prospect the information they ACTUALLY WANT! Which is… to understand why and how you (this company) are different, better, and more valuable. People come to websites trying to find the best company to buy from—and they want to be able to “surf” your site and glean information anonymously before committing to actually contacting you. So it’s not really helping when you TELL THEM NOTHING then give them an option to “Contact Us” or “Download a Brochure” or “Have A Question?” Why on earth would you not just GIVE THEM THE INFO THEY WANT ON THE WEBSITE THEY’RE ALREADY ON!!!!
They assume that people are all cheapskates who must be given the lowest imaginable price or they will be scared off. I don’t know if you know this, but Renewal by Andersen windows are pretty expensive—about $1,200 each. Yet one of the first things the website does is try to convince people they are cheap—“Get A Price,” “Save Money,” “Free Quote,” Easy, Low Payments,” (twice). They are setting a false expectation of cheapness. Instead, they should be focusing on setting an expectation of VALUE—helping people understand why they’d be a fool to spend a penny less than $1,200 on a new window.
Ultimately, it’s about be scared of giving up control. You’re afraid that if you don’t set an iron-claw trap so that you can catch them and force them to fork over their contact information, you’ll lose them. And you know what, if you continue to REFUSE to give them what they came for… you’re right. They will bail out. But the solution is sooooooooooo simple: Just actually give them what they came for! REAL INFORMATION!

You might be wondering what a better version would look like. Glad you asked:

Note: the top section with the picture is a “slider” that rotates between 4 different pictures and headlines—all of which are SELLING the prospect on the advantages of their product.

Once you demonstrate that you’re the best value—ON YOUR WEBSITE, not just in the sales meeting—then people will naturally want to do business with you. They will see your phone number at the top of your website and call. They will fill out your form to get a quote—not because you tricked them; not because you trapped them; not because they were somehow hoodwinked into it… but because they actually WANT to do business with you. There’s no manipulation needed. No “bait.” No “gotcha!” And for Pete’s sake, no pouncing.

Quit thinking of home improvement lead generation like it’s picking up chicks at a bar. It’s not. Start thinking of it like trying to meet and develop a genuine relationship—because that’s exactly what it is. This mindset shift will pay massive dividends for you AND your customers as you give them a way to get to know you in a safe environment (on your website). If they like what they see, trust me, they’ll call. In droves.